Do you deserve to be happy?
Would she be proud?
June is the Pride Month for millions of people, and it got me thinking ... celebrating who we are unequivocally and proudly comes with a loud statement: I deserve to be happy.
Have you ever sabotaged your relationships or other opportunities because you, deep down, didn’t feel you deserved it—didn’t deserve happiness? You told yourself, “It wouldn’t work out?”
I’ve been there.
I saw a sign that read, “Your grandmother’s prayers are still protecting you.”
This couldn’t be more true.
It’s been 18 years today since she died. She’d raised me and was a beacon of hope through many dark times.
I have often asked myself whether she’d be proud of the person I’ve become.
Even though I haven’t done what she’d planned for me, the answer is always “yes”.
Why is that?
How to delegate
If you know me, you also know that I am wired to reach new vistas, challenge myself to break my own limits, and expand and grow in every possible way. And preferably take others along with me.
Indeed, I believe our purpose is growth and breaking the limits of yesterday.
However, I’ve also learned that not all of us are wired this way. As a coach, this is a hard pill to swallow.
A birthday lesson
One of the hardest things for many leaders is delegation. This is especially true for start-ups and small businesses/nonprofits where founders/CEOs wear many hats and often feel they lack resources to get the right support.
Although, they’re not the only ones.
Struggling to delegate has roots in several underdeveloped personal and leadership qualities, so regardless of the support system, or the lack thereof, we’ve all known people who’re great delegators, but also those who aren’t.
So, if you have a couple of minutes, let’s tackle this topic together.
Do you struggle at delegating and why?
Apparently age only matters if you’re cheese.
I am pretty cheesy. So every year, at my birthday, I do the cheesy thing and reflect on the lessons from the year before. Last year, I wrote 31 lessons for 31 years. It was my birthday last Monday, but instead of writing another list, this year I asked myself what is one theme that I’ve thought a lot about—and experienced—as essential to a life well-lived.
I’ve come to understand that courage is the greatest expression of love.
Why should you change?
I get kicked in the teeth… a lot.
Some days, it feels like someone is constantly punching me in my face.
It’s not pleasant.
I keep asking myself: “OK, what’s a lesson in behind this? How do I get better because of it?”
I keep telling myself: “You’ve been here before, just keep pushing.”
Then, on those especially intense days—or months, or years—it’s a perfect storm.
It rains from all sides.
Lovers, friends, clients, service providers, … one big fat NO.
“No more,” they say.
I am sure you’ve been here before.
You got fired on a whim.
What?! My last performance review was raving!
A funder changes their mind and you’re left hanging.
But they claimed this was the best, most worthwhile investment in a long time?
A lover, who just a second ago told you you’re the best thing that happened to them and you were making plans (for next year!) is no longer interested. And you had just started to feel relaxed and trusting.
Are you Harry or Voldemort?
As a life and leadership coach, I sometimes get asked: why should I change and grow?
Why should I put in the hard work of digging deeper to uncover the shadows of my soul and my unconscious, or become deeply uncomfortable at times and even break off certain relationships, or risk rejection and failure, or loneliness, abandonment, and pain?
Change can be hard, why do it?
Because change is growth and, in my estimation, growth is essential to living a fully-realized human life.
But here are several arguments for and against this belief:
BONUS: 8.5 ways to master love
Harry Potter is a story of coming out—in the broadest sense of that word—letting our “weird self” shine even in the face of rejection, and perhaps because of it.
It is a story of non-conformity and of choices—it shows us true magic of life when we choose to stand in our light and have the courage to be and do what is true.
While many of us would agree that, when all is said and done, love is always the best choice and that we should all pursue it, there comes a question of mastering it. How do we reconcile the complex human nature, the external pressures, the internal fears, and the simple human condition of egotism in order to find and keep love?